Practicing Patience
Why is this so hard?
I don’t have time for this!
How could I make this mistake again!
Stupid… (add your expletives and frustrations of choice!)
In my practice of daily meditation and affirmations, I have started to follow the work of personal growth mentor and author Jonathan Lehmann who uses guided meditation and affirmations that have helped me refocus my energy and become more calm and happy.
One particular affirmation stands out for me at this time: "I cultivate patience, and in doing so I cultivate confidence: Practicing patience with myself and others builds self confidence.”
Cultivating patience enhances self-regulation, reduces impulsive reactions, and fosters the resilience needed to master long-term goals.
Staying calm during delays prevents frustration from eroding self-assurance.
Recovering slowly and steadily from setbacks proves you can handle challenges.
I share this with you from my personal experience. Having a cancer diagnosis has prompted me to stop driving myself and instead find a path that feels right for me.
Accepting the de-compensation and breakdown of my ocular motor system after years of over-compensation and pushing myself despite my low vision has left me no choice but to cultivate patience. Well, I do have a choice, but the alternative is a profound feeling of loss because I can no longer do many things that I used to do, such as read a book or a score, attend events in crowded places, and dance freely without fear of dizziness. For many years I dealt with “hurry sickness” and now I must accept that many things will take me more time to accomplish than the average person. I would rather enjoy the process of the task rather than rush myself into a state of stress.
When I focus on the steps rather than rushing to completion, I feel less dizzy and more stable. I am also becoming a better listener, and as a result I feel more connected with the people around me. This is the most beautiful gift of all! I am not preoccupied with keeping myself upright, seeing the notes and moving through space. Instead my attention is fully on the person/people I am with.
The practice of music teaches us patience. Most of the time, the steps are very gradual. A breakthrough is monumental, but when we return to practice after the breakthrough, we must patiently return to the cultivation of our musical mastery. This allows us to internalize the breakthrough so we can call it up when we need it.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Patience
Practice Mindfulness: Take deep breaths when you feel impatient, rushed or irritated.
Reframe Delays: View waiting periods or setbacks as chances to learn or grow rather than wasted time.
Set Realistic Goals: Accept that meaningful progress takes time and challenge is normal.
There is a science behind patience as a transformative force. It is not about doing nothing, it is about waiting for the right time. Impatience activates the body’s alarm system and stress levels. Patience activates our ability to think and solve problems. Delayed gratification is actually healthy, we learn how to plan. Gradual work and mastery of a piece of music or technical feat is fulfilling.
Impatience is an attempt to control reality. I tell my students that you cannot force a plant to grow. The tender shoots and leaves grow and mature in their own time. Practice is the greatest teacher.
If you are playing with others, know that your patience can have a powerful effect on the group.
Cultivating patience can boost your happiness.
How?
Pause before you react to something Breathe Remember patience is active not passive
It is choosing discipline over impulse and growth over instant pleasure, vision over distraction, Einstein was quoted as saying - “It’s not that I am so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer.”
I invite you to take your time, enjoy your practice, and leave your practice satisfied that you showed up!
